December 19, 2004

cata-list

In the interest of injecting some energy into our little on-line community (and getting Alex, Chase and Andy away from WoW for at least 5 minutes) I'm going to ask you all to do a little bloject (blog + project = bloject!). Unfortunately I have not yet come up with an interesting bloject to subject you to. Hmmm... let's see... Okay, got one:

Here, it's easy (and stupid, but easy!).

I would like at least one found haiku from each of you (and if you read this, I mean you; yes, you). So we'll go with the standard 5-7-5 syllable pattern and the only rule is your haiku cannot contain your personal words. The lines can come from a street sign, the tv, WoW, drunks at the Summit, anything but your imagination. Also, please don't encourage each other to say something just so you can use it. First try to do it by the rules. If that doesn't work, then fine; cheat.

Once you have your haiku you can post it here or wherever you live on the internets, but if you don't leave it here, then please link to it so I don't have to chase you around.

Got it? Good. Break!

Posted by liz at 07:41 PM | Comments (21)

December 15, 2004

I got a job

It's true, I did. And if I weren't feeling so slack I'd probably write about it. But I am. Feeling. Slack. *sigh*

Posted by liz at 02:58 PM | Comments (3)

December 02, 2004

Reasons to Comment on Someone's Blog:

1) (And most important) To mock them.
2) (Close second) To aid them in the mockage of whomever their entry was intended to mock.
3) To respond to charges or mockery brought against your person in their entry.
4) To point out and/or correct an error that they made either in the entry or in life.
5) To get some of their attention by relating their entry to a moment or moments in your own life.
6) Because the joke is there, and if you don't make it, it could languish in joke purgatory.
7) To sell Propecia, or a larger penis, or payday loans (i.e. because you are a spambot).
8) (and least likely) Because you don't know them, and therefore feel comfortable showing your sincere gratitude for their entry in the anonymity of the interporn.

Posted by liz at 03:55 PM | Comments (9)

Why I haven't had a volunteer job in the last 12 years (besides the money thing):

When I was in 6th grade I volunteered at the nursing home across the street from the middle school. (My mother was the only person who called me a "candy striper.") I don't remember how long I did it - certainly no longer than a few months - and I don't remember much of what we were asked to do. Just mail delivery. So instead of having a complete and balanced recollection of my time at Maplewood Manor, I have two very vivid and personally disturbing images:

The first was on the elevator down to the lobby. I was alone for a ride of just one floor with a resident. He was very old and not entirely sane so when he asked me (12 years old) for a kiss, I politely declined. As the doors opened on the lobby floor he was walking toward me with his lips puckered. I bolted. Seriously, ran like hell.

The second, and last memory I have of the place was in the common area. I was reading the jokes in a large-print Reader's Digest. There was only one other person in the room. An elderly lady watching a TV show on the couch across from mine. She kept drifting off to sleep. I had been there for a good half hour when I noticed her hand was moving, gently and fluttering, on her genitals.

So now of course I look back on that and think, "Good for old lady sexuality! Maybe not in a room with a terrified 12 year old volunteer, but she probably didn't know what she where she was anyway." At the time, I was done. No, thank you. Dudes with dentures trying to get close in the elevator, and a little clitoral rubbing in the common room: not my thing. I still don't ever want to go back there, and won't if I can help it.

Posted by liz at 01:21 PM | Comments (3)