The Gestetner DSc38 is a large printer, the intricacies of which are apparent only when something has gone wrong. To most of the office the Gestetner is simply a fast and efficient way to make many, many free color copies. To Andrea and I the Gestetner is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in several colors of toner. The agents come to me when the Gestetner malfunctions and somehow I always fix it. It doesn't make any sense. "Paper Jam in Fusion Tray B" indicates that I should systematically open and close the little magnetic doors all over the machine until the error message goes away. Inevitably there is no paper jam. I'm not surprised that the agents are in awe of how Andrea and I handle the massive spastic hell printer; it looks like magic even to me. At the moment it claims to be "Processing" and that is supposedly a valid reason for no printing to be happening. I've been here for approximately forty-five minutes just trying to make seventy color copies. It makes me think the Gestetner may not be worth the money they sunk in to it, if it's going to require a $13/hr. babysitter to keep it running just relatively smoothly (relative to gravel.)
Also, the helplessness of real estate agents is directly proportional to their proximity to admin staff. I know that all of these people function somehow in the outside world. I know that they have expensive internet connections in their houses and that, if left to their own devices they could even work the mysterious 'facsimile machine.' And yet, their ineptitude increases as they approach me. In fact, the closer their desks are to my holding pen, the more ridiculous the requests. I've been hiding down here in the resource room for so long, with only Gestetner to fight with that I'm starting to wonder if I can hold out until lunch. Or will the lack of caffeine and nicotine drive me back to the surface world of inexplicably broken email accounts and missing fax confirmation sheets?
there once was a girl we called liz
about whom here is a quiz:
is she a) always working
or b) smugly smirking
or c) just an office-girl whiz?
damn, boy! your clevernity is blinding! and your smartaciousness with rhymology is staggerific.
hehehehe
Posted by: liz at September 12, 2003 11:12 AMWe should introduce you to our friendly production printers Lawrence and Reginold. They're big and intimidating, but for the most part, very cooperative. They also have enough delicate doohickey's that when something is seriously wrong, there's no choice but to call a repairman. The other half-dozen computers we have here? Well, they just suck.
Posted by: lopolis at September 12, 2003 11:12 AMas far as i can tell, the last time a printer was made that functioned more than 30% of the time was in 1990. thank god you're here to drag that percentage back up. someone's got to.
Posted by: urbanmatador at September 12, 2003 11:13 AMhalf-dozen computers... I meant printers.
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